bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
