he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
