Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
