a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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