omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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