Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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