Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.