so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're a waste of cheezeits
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.