okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You may now shotgun with the bride
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Success! We fucked roommates!