she woke up with a sticky ear
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.