im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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