I'm gonna have a badass scar
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
