Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
