U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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