YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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