i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
