this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
