try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
