I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
