i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
