My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
