That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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