so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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