We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
