Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
