wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need to calm my uterus...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
