it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
