They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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