I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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