I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
