I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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