so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
