Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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