I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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