Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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