I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
