So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
