false alarm. still invincible.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
