dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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