Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
