it was like eating out sand paper
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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