White coat. Heels.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
