Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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