We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
