I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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