Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
