Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize