forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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