Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
