but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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