i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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