Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
