he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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