We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
