Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
