Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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