I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
