Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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