I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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