member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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